Just Malanb - My student loans are killing me

I am a part of the student loan debt generation. My debt right now is about $68,000! Yeah about $38,000 in federal loans and the rest in private loans. I am at a job that barely pays me 31,000 a year. I am trying to transition to a job that will not only make me happier but help me build wealth.

I have to phone bill( I have Metro PCS! No iPhone or samsung galaxy), commuters cost ( a bus pass, a metro card who has charged me twice on several occasions), a water bill, a gas bill, cable (yes, I need cable in order to have the Internet to work on my blogs, look for a better job, sell some of my clothes to make ends meet, my husbands blogs. and build my brand), my husbands medical bills ( with a husband with a rare lymphoma , this will be a common occurrence), groceries, and other bills I can not even remember. 

I am constantly stressed out and unhappy over this debt hanging over me. Now I get a call that this loan collection is spreading my debt information to others and asking about my contact information. When was this practice even legal to do? I am so overwhelm. These student loans has destroyed my credit, which may be a factor of me getting a better job. 

I don't know what to do. How can I stay at a job that I hate to pay a debt that seems like it will never going away. I can't afford to leave this job but mentally I can't afford to stay. I do not make enough at this job to pay over $400 a month pay this student loan debt off. I don't have any other debt but this. No credit cards. I am not spending crazy amounts of money. I borwn bag my lunch. When I do it is few and far in between. I even try to help out family memebers with the loose cash that I do have.

 My student loans are killing me.  The worst part about this is that I didn't graduate from college because I had a mental breakdown. I have a debt of almost $70,000 and I don't have a degree to show for it. My PTSD and depression became worst the longer I was in school. I would have anxiety attacks and breakdowns behind closed doors for 4 years. At the begininng of my 4th year, I could take it anymore. I had to leave with my sanity. I also left with a pile of debt. I tried several colleges but none of them work. I did graduate from one place but the degree is not even worth the paper it was written on. 

So now I am stuck. I have a huge student loan debt. I am at a job that is toxic and want to leave. I am trying to build a brand and a business but I can not stay at this job. If I leave this job...which I have a feeling I need to do sooner rather than later, I will be so broke. Broke = not be able to do anything including blogging and working on my craft. 

So what can I  do when this debt is killing my entrepreneurial goals

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. -Confucius

I've worked every day of my life and finally at the age of 31.  Every job that I worked,  I never liked let alone loved. I am so annoyed with this "having a job" that it is affecting me on an emotional level. Mentally and physically I can not deal with the phony personalities, the passive aggressive attitudes,  and the unpredictable work schedule. I am so done with this JOB existence.

If you ever worked in retail, you understand that this is not a great environment for growth or self discovery. In other words, retail and it is the worst industry to get into. Upper Management treats their staff like crap and only care about how much money was made. Middle management is most of the time over worked and exhausted.  Sadly the sale associates always get the short end of the stick. Sales associates are over worked and never reap any benefits from all the profit they made because management want to keep "cost" down.

I want to stop working and start enjoying my life. Working in retail is draining. I finally realize that being a creative mind makes me happy. Working in a space that does not utilizes my talents is a waste of my time and theirs.

My present dilemma is...

 What should I do if I want to quit my job but can't afford to?

If I do quit, how do I make my passions into a business that I can make a great living from?

I realize that it is time for me to enjoy my life and indulge in my passion ...Writing and art. Writing had been my only refuge from my retail nightmare.  Art has been a way to get my frustrations out. Due to the wacked out retail schedule, by the time I get home, all I want to do is eat Nutella and sleep.Yes, I have heard the argument - if you really love it, you will make time. - I am sure that is easier said than done.

I am going to some serious career growing pains...hopefully by September 2015...I never have to work a day in my life